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Feeling a little bit hypocritical

Today was my last full day at home with the family before leaving tomorrow for Cambodia. We decided to treat ourselves and go out for lunch to the Mud Crab Diner on Ecclesall road, a kind of retro American motorcycle-themed restaurant, whose speciality is a burger with peanut butter and cheese on top of it. Nothing about this meal is good for you in any way, but it tastes aaaamazing.

On our way back my daughter Sophie noticed a man sitting on the grass verge next to our car with a dog. She loves dogs. It was a big and white, with an ugly face and a wide grin. I didn’t want Sophie to walk too close to it, so I made sure I stood between her and the beast.

I started talking to the man. He was about my age, had worn out jeans and a can of cider on the grass behind him that I think he was trying to hide.

We got talking about his dog and he was telling me about how he was struggling to look after it and it was hard because he lived in tent and that’s not a great place to keep a dog. He seemed like a nice guy.

At this point I realised there was a long line of cars waiting to get our car parking space and that we should probably move on, so I wished him well and got into the car. As I reversed I could see him straight ahead of me with his head in his hands crying.

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I felt like I should pull the car back in get out and talk to him, but I didn’t. I just kept on moving and left him there.

I had to get on, I had lots to do, lots to buy before the shops shut, lots to prepare for going to Cambodia to see those people living in poverty. And I felt like such a hypocrite.

I don’t know why I’m sharing this really, apart from that I want to be honest from the outset that as I go out and experience things ¬†and potentially ask you to give, I’m doing it from a place of not being great at it myself. I want to be better though, I want to be someone who not only feels compassion, but does something about it. And I’m hoping that going to Cambodia changes me in that way.

Later on I drove back to the car park and looked around for the man with the dog. I was going to see if he wanted a chat, if I could buy him a meal, or even just get him a couple of tins of dog food. But he wasn’t there. Next time I want to do better first time round.